I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
