I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
