remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
