I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
