Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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