Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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