I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
