I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
