I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
