i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My ass is underappreciated
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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