Who wears a wallet chain?!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
