New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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