id be glad to
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
