Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
His nipple licking is glorious
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