ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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