I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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