i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
