a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
