Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
