I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
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