dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
