whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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