I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
