He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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