yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
