so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just invented taco cereal.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
