3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
