what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
