stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
