Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The struggles of a small town man whore
you never un-have a 4some
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
