She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
