Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Boobs speak an international language.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
