dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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