Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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