I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
