I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I currently don't understand fingers.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
