Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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