I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
