They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Still dying that you shit outside
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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