how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
