Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
