i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
