awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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