Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You are the jesus of drinking
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
