You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
