I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
