I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
