I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
