I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
