if you like me you must not know who I am
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
