So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
50% drunk capacity currently
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
