We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she pinky promised me she was 18
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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